Muslim Home Education Network - A Day at Our House http://www.muslimhomeschool.net/forums/ Describe your average home school day and give new homeschoolers an idea of what to expect! Perhaps you can share some techniques on how you manage your day or perhaps you have some tips on how to stay sane...???? en Wed, 08 Sep 2010 23:40:36 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.muslimhomeschool.net/forums/images/misc/rss.png Muslim Home Education Network - A Day at Our House http://www.muslimhomeschool.net/forums/ Burnout or Stress? http://www.muslimhomeschool.net/forums/showthread.php?305-Burnout-or-Stress&goto=newpost Sun, 29 Aug 2010 04:56:16 GMT
Burnout or Stress?




Stress can cause burnout, but the two conditions are very different in how they will effect you. Stress will make you feel that you will be fine 'if you can just get everything under control'. And the pressures of trying to do this will use up too much of your energy physically and emotionally.

If you are feeling there is too much to do, and too little time - then you are likely suffering from stress.


Burnout however, leaves you feeling totally empty, devoid of motivation, and beyond caring. Moms experiencing homeschool burnout often don’t see any hope of positive change in their situations - they have given everything and have nothing left to give.


If you are experiencing an overwhelming feeling of 'bleakness' then you are likely to be experiencing homeschool burnout. Most often you just wish everyone would just go away and leave you alone!!


If you recognise any of the symptoms above in yourself, then you need to take steps to protect yourself. Both conditions can lead to depression and illness - you need to recognise early signs and act before the problem becomes serious.

Causes of Homeschool Burnout
· Illness
· Unrealistic Expectations
· Busy Schedules
· Life Getting in the way
· Homeschool Troubles
· Family Troubles
· Lack of Support


1. Illness.

Bugs go around and families get ill - and we often forget that this is the bodies way of telling us to slow down and take a rest. As Moms we seem to have an overwhelming desire to keep going - whatever happens!!
EXAMPLE - Recognise this?

Weeks ago we all got this horrible head cold. It's made it's way through our family and we were all finally beginning to recover (except for a horrible cough), and then last weekend, my youngest throws up, sleeps all day and is fine the next day. Now THAT bug has gone round the family and I haven't had a break in weeks, not one minute. I've been up at nights, and I'm about worn out. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired!

You need to STOP! The health of you and your family is really important. You cannot keep rushing around (and homeschooling, and cleaning) when you are fit to drop!!

Please, please give yourself a break. Call a break on the homeschooling (I promise you that you will catch up later)- make some down time (relax, watch tv, snuggle up together and read books or do puzzles). Tell the kids you are playing 'hospitals' for a day or two and they all have to lie quietly on quilts and read or colour-in! Plonk yourself in an armchair and let them take your temperature and fetch you drinks! Take some time just to let everyone recuperate and regain their health. Work out what is the absolute MINIMUM you have to do each day (ie feed everyone!) and try not to do anything else. I know you are a Mum (and as a Mum are invincible!!) but everyone needs to recharge their batteries sometimes. You will enjoy things much better if you take the time now to refuel. Try to eat a healthy diet and get some gentle exercise. And let your body recover.

2. Too high standards (and unrealistic expectations).

Homeschoolers, particularly those following packaged curriculums, often forget that curriculum providers don't know your family, or circumstances, or challenges. They want you to feel you got value for money and that sometimes means over-providing!!
No matter how much you try, you can't do it all perfectly. Your children will learn at their own pace and you really shouldn't rush them. You are juggling homeschooling with being a Mom, a Wife, a housekeeper and a cook. Plus all the other roles you take on. Is it any surprise you have homeschool burnout?
If you think you are missing the mark then you need to LOWER the mark. Remember this stress is all totally self-imposed. YOU can decide what to expect from you and your family - and what you can happily live with.
Check with yourself to see if you are trying to live up to other people's too high expectations. Don't compare yourself with others - everyone has different challenges and abilities. Are you bending over backwards trying to get the house all cleaned before friends visit? Do them a favour and let them see your home in various degrees of chaos! They are probably exhausting themselves in the same way and you can pat yourself on the back and call yourself a better friend if you relax and let them see that they can relax too! ( I do this with my friends! I think they are very grateful!!).
Take some time to re-evaluate your goals and decide what is really important to YOU (not other people). And set yourself new goals and targets that are really important to you .

3. Too much to do in too tight a schedule.

Is your homeschool schedule causing homeschool burnout?
We are all guilty of over-scheduling at times. Especially in the begining of homeschooling, when we are worried about socialization - we say yes to every social invitation that comes our way!!
If you are struggling to fit everything in you need to learn to say no, and reduce your commitments . Being 'busy' does not make for good homeschooling.
Take a good look at your schedule - what can you cut back on. Re-work the schedule if need be. Try working less hours (mornings only) or reduce to four days a week.
Some homeschoolers work in blocks of 5 or 6 weeks - then take a week off to recharge their batteries, and help fight off homeschool burnout. .
I use Friday as Tidy Up day.
We all work hard on Friday to tidy bedrooms, clean bathrooms and the kitchen, and to hoover round. The children are responsible for their own rooms and the playroom - and will often chip in with other chores too. When we have all got done (to my satisfaction!) we go out for ice-creams and a long read-aloud session.
Having a set day to clean helps me relax about the mess and chaos that piles up during the week! I can concentrate on other things than the state of the house because I know we will get to it on Friday.
Cut out the distractions. Write a to-do list and appraise it honestly. Do you REALLY need to do those things. Give yourself permission to only to what is necessary for a while.

4. Life getting in the way.

Too often we face major life changes such as moving or the arrival of a new baby - and expect everything to carry on as before, ignoring the fact that these can be stressful events in their own right.

We can't always change a stressful event - but we can change how we react to it .
If you have something major happening in your life at the moment then ease up on yourself. If you lead the children in just relaxing and accepting the change, then they will learn much more from the experience than from everyone trying to ignore it. How would you want your children to handle the event? In a stressy, trying to do it all way? Or a relaxed, focused way?

5. Homeschooling not working.

Homeschool burnout? Or is everyone just bored?
Struggling with your homeschooling often signals a need for change . Shockingly - this seems to loom on the horizon just as we think we have finally got on top of homeschooling and everything is going well!! Then wham! Homeschool burnout appears!

Take some time to reassess. Has your homeschooling been working well for you - and now everyone just needs a break to consolidate their learning before you begin again?
Or has your homeschooling experience been going steadily downhill for a while?
Look at other methods of homeschooling to see if there is a way for you to do something different for a while. Take a break, or just incorporate some field-trips to get everyone enthusiastic again.
Try doing the opposite of how you would normally homeschool for one week. Normally use a schedule? - try autonomy! Normally autonomous? - try a schedule! Tell the children it is an experiment, and use it for a conversation about what you like/dislike about your current methods. Who knows - you may like the new way!

6. Not pulling together as a family

It would be wonderful for us to always have our family working together in harmony!
But in real life we all seem to go through times when when everyone seems to be arguing or misbehaving. See this as a season in your family history. It won't last!!
When your family hits a trouble spot it is important to relax and not let things escalate - children do pick up on your moods!
Does the family need to spend some quality time together - or some quality time apart?
As homeschooling families we do spend a lot of time together and this can be a volatile mix when homeschool burnout sets in. If the children are fighting with each other (and you!) then it's time to take action.

Try to reduce the situations where trouble generally occurs. Some field trips or extra socialising may be the answer - or a couple of days quiet play. You know your family best - what is most likely to pull them together?
You set the tone with your family. If you are upset and harassed, the children will pick up on that and get upset too. Try to make time for yourself so you feel calmer - follow my suggestions in the next section.

7. Lack of Support

Lack of support is most the most cited reason for 'worker' burnout. If you feel you are struggling to cope on your own, then you need to pull in support from family and friends.
Be more assertive in asking for help - or in accepting it from those who offer! Rope in the family - even small children can help with chores! I find that explaining that 'Mummy really needs some help right now because she is struggling with things' brings out the best in children - and they become eager to help.

Joining a homeschool group can also make a world of difference - no-one understands homeschool burnout like a fellow homeschooler! You can chat while the children play - and a problem shared is a problem halved.

Find ways to help yourself too . Meditate, journal, get some 'me time' - do whatever it takes to help yourself feel more centred and relaxed. Sometimes eliminating homeschool burnout is as simple as carving out a few moments for yourself each day.

Remember, in igniting the fire in our children, we need to kindle an environment where they see EVERYONE learning. So taking time for yourself to do something 'just for you' has a double benefit. They see you setting an example - and you will feel much better about yourself and your day!

(Source: downloaded from internet - couldn't remember the site)


Here is the link to PDF file for printouts
 ]]> A Day at Our House Almah http://www.muslimhomeschool.net/forums/showthread.php?305-Burnout-or-Stress